A Therapist’s Cheat Sheet for Identifying the Child PDAer
By Jacinta Twohig
How do you know when you have a child who is a PDAer in the therapy room? There is no quick and definitive answer to this…sometimes you just ‘know’ and other times you sit with indecision for a very long time – ‘Are they or aren’t they?’. Just like everybody, no PDAer will be the same as another PDAer with how they interact and react. However, you are reading this not to hear about my uncertainties in ‘knowing’ so here are some common interactions with clients, less than 10 years old generally, that provide me with big clues that lead me to think, ‘Hmmm…I think I’m working with a PDAer here’…
I am told without apparent ill intent that I am stupid, not very smart, annoying, or some other comment that sounds insulting.
I am told where to sit.
I am told to be quiet.
They are quiet when I am trying to find out information. Ask a question? – commonly silence. Declarative statement? – maybe I will get a response.
The rules of games are often changed especially if it seems I am winning (so much that I can’t keep up).
‘Cheating’ in games (e.g. holding the dice in their palm to flip over and, “Wow – how did they get a 6 on the dice?!”).
My suggestions in play and doing craft for instance are discounted or seem to not be heard at all.
I will be directed in imaginative play what my toy (which I likely haven’t been allowed to pick) is to say and do. It is not uncommon to be told an entire outline of what is to occur in the play sequence – sometimes many steps with a lot of detail, and I will be told when I did not do or say it right.
I will likely hear word play and a dark sense of humour.
Alignment with the ‘villain’ rather than the ‘hero.’
Interest and apparent enjoyment in violence in shows and gaming (e.g. explosions, injuries, crashes, weapons).
Yes – PDA can be challenging in the therapy room. It requires a lot of mental energy – whilst I am ‘playing’ with the PDA child or just observing (because I have not been invited to play). My mind is busy thinking and assessing. There is little opportunity for me to have anything much more than brief discussions with parents that are attending in session with their child – and there is a good chance that were an extensive discussion to occur both of us would quickly have it communicated to us that it is not ‘ok’ to do so.
To all my clients with PDA – thank you for letting me in to your world – every one of you brings delight to me. You are inspirational in how you keep going when your everyday life brings the biggest challenges in what to many may seem the smallest of things.
If you are interested in learning more about engaging PDAers in the therapy room you can view our recorded webinar https://vimeo.com/ondemand/pdaprofessionals
