Suicidal Thoughts In Children

Written By Jordi Nieves

By Jessica Leyton

TRIGGER WARNING: Please note that this article discusses suicide.

Why do children experience suicidal thoughts?

There are limited frameworks available for us to understand suicidal thinking in young children. Suicidal thoughts are complex, and there are many factors that contribute to suicidal thoughts, including genetics as well as acquired vulnerability. Early traumatic life experiences, chronic illness, chronic alcohol and substance misuse, and environmental factors such as for example, social position, culture and diet, all play a part in the development of vulnerability (Wasserman, 2012). There are no single causes that lead to a child experiencing suicidal thoughts, instead it is a combination of many factors. 

One way to think about this is using the stress-bucket model. Each person has a different sized bucket, which is determined by their genetics and acquired vulnerability. Daily stressors including school stress, family conflict, friendship difficulties, or masking can fill a child’s bucket. If the child has effective coping skills, they can release some of this stress. If they aren’t as lucky, the bucket will fill and overflow. This is often when we see suicidal thoughts emerge in some children.

What are some of the risk factors for suicidal thinking in children?

  • Depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges can increase the risk of a child experiencing suicidal thoughts

  • Exposure to traumatic events or a direct experience of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse.

  • Being of diverse gender or sexuality. LGBTQIA+ youth are at a higher risk for suicidal ideation.

  • Family conflict or strained parent-child relationships

  • Social isolation and lack of meaningful social support

  • Bullying

  • Difficulties with schooling (i.e. academic or low attendance)

  • Masking or camouflaging in Autistic and ADHD children

What protects children from suicidal thoughts?

Several broad factors have been identified by Westefeld, et al. (2010) to protect children from suicide:

  • Strong family relationships

  • Early identification and treatment of mental health challenges

  • Efforts made by schools and communities to support those impacted by suicide 

  • Psychoeducation about suicide being made available to parents, teachers, schools, and mental health providers

How do I know if my child is suicidal?

Warning signs may be difficult to spot in children as many of the typical “red flags” we think of can be subtle in young children. Some warning signs to monitor include:

  • Changes in ‘baseline’ behaviour may be seen. This means changes in what we would consider a child’s normal behaviour pattern, including changes in sleeping and eating habits (too much or too little), withdrawal from people they would otherwise interact with, and changes in mood. 

  • Children might begin to express negative thinking patterns such as “No one cares about me”, “Nothing will get better” or “I hate my life”.

  • Feelings of hopelessness or guilt 

  • Loss of interest in school or school refusal 

  • Preoccupation with death – looking up ways to die or making statements about dying

What should I do as a parent?

All signs of suicidal ideation or behaviour should be taken seriously. Children need our support to make sense of these emotions and it is our job to make them feel held. It may be scary or uncomfortable to have these conversations with children and many parents fear that talking about suicide may make the situation worse. The reality is, talking about suicide can greatly reduce the chance of death by suicide, and help children make sense of their feelings. 

It is important to ask direct questions about suicidal thinking – skirting or dancing around the topic does not help in the long run and shows children that suicide is not something to be talked about or is “taboo”. You can ask questions like “Have you been thinking about hurting or killing yourself?” or “I’ve noticed you’ve not been yourself lately, have you had any thoughts about dying?”. It is crucial that these questions are asked with compassion and without judgement. 

If your child discloses thoughts of suicide:

  • Let them know that you are glad they told you. It is important that our young people can feel confident that the adults in their life will not judge them for these thoughts. 

  • Validate and empathise with their feelings. Some statements to try include “It’s really common to have these thoughts, but I am here to help you through this” or “I see you’ve been feeling really unhappy/sad/angry lately, and I want to help you”. More conversation starters can be found here: https://www.papyrus-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/papyrus_conversation_starters.pdf 

  • Try to understand what their thought are like. Have they thought about a plan? What is it? 

  • If your child does not want to talk, try to find alternative methods such as texting, writing, or drawing. This conversation is just as difficult for them as it is for us!

Regardless of the answer your child gives, it is important to seek support from a mental health practitioner (i.e. Psychologist, GP, Social Worker, Psychiatrist) as soon as possible.

Knowing that your child is experiencing suicidal thinking can be an incredibly distressing experience. With proper supports in place, it is possible for children and families to work through the feelings and triggers that result in suicidal thoughts and learn effective coping strategies to deal with them. The important thing to remember is that it is very possible for your child to feel okay again, and that you are not alone. 

If you or your child are experiencing thoughts of suicide, or are worried about someone, here are some places you can reach out to for support:

Mental Health Emergency Response Line
1300 555 788 (local call) 
https://www.mhc.wa.gov.au/getting-help/helplines/mental-health-response-line/

Kids Helpline 
1800 55 1800
https://kidshelpline.com.au 

Crisis Care
1800 199 008 or (08) 9223 1111
https://www.entrypointperth.com.au/directory/crisis-care-perth/ 

Beyond Blue 
1300 22 4636
https://www.beyondblue.org.au 

Lifeline
13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au 

References:

  • Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2016). Intentional self-harm by age. Causes of death.
    http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/by%20Subject/3303.0~2016~Main%20Features~Intentional%20self- harm:%20key%20characteristics~7 

  • Batchelor, S. (2017). Suicidal thoughts start young: The critical need for family support and early intervention. Paper presented at the National Suicide Prevention Conference, Brisbane, Qld. 

  • Headspace (2022). Understanding suicide, suicide attempts and self-harm in primary school aged children - Evidence Summary. https://headspace.org.au/assets/download-cards/02-HSP254-Suicide-in-Primary-Schools-Summary-FA-low-res2.pdf 

  • Hurley, K. (2020). Children and Suicide: Are There Red Flags to Look For? Psycom. https://www.psycom.net/children-and-suicide 

  • Wasserman, D., Rihmer, Z., Rujescu, D., Sarchiapone, M., Sokolowski, M., Titelman, D., … Carli, V. (2012). The European Psychiatric Association (EPA) guidance on suicide treatment and prevention. European Psychiatry, 27, 129 – 141.

  • Westefeld, J. S., Bell, A., Bermingham, C., Button, C., Shaw, K., Skow, C., . . . Woods, T. (2010). Suicide among preadolescents: A call to action. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 15(5), 381-407. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/15325024.2010.507655

  • YoungMinds (2021). A Guide for Parents: Suicidal Thoughts. https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-a-z-mental-health-guide/suicidal-thoughts/#HowcanItalktomychildaboutsuicidalthoughts 

Jordi Nieves
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