Moving Home Considerations to Support Autistic Young People
by Kristy Cooper (Clinical Psychology Registrar) and Tara Joyce (Clinical Psychology Registrar)
Moving homes can present numerous exciting possibilities. We may have selected a home that is a better fit for our needs or preferences moving forward. The home may be more financially sustainable, a more accommodating size for our growing family, or a more convenient location for accessing valued activities or supports in the local area (e.g., health services, hobbies, education/employment, and family-time). We may be excitedly anticipating the associated novelty or embracing the opportunity to reorganise our way of living.
Adjusting to change can be a struggle for people of all neurotypes, but tends to be extra challenging for those who are Autistic and rely on predictability and sense of sameness to feel safe. Moving houses is one of the biggest transitions that we can undertake in our daily lives. It often requires us not only to adjust to a new immediate living environment but often also involves navigating different travel routes and transitioning to more convenient local services (e.g., new grocery store, GP, and school). Part of us may also grieve moving away from a home that feels safe and familiar, and may be central to some of our most important memories. For many of us, these myriad changes and transitions can be highly anxiety-provoking, stressful, and filled with uncertainty.
Below is a list of considerations to assist Autistic young people to gradually transition to a new house in a supported manner:
Give the young person a sense of control when possible:
Explain the reason for moving now (e.g., “because it is closer to X and it means that we can see them more”).
Provide approximate time frames of when the move will occur and how long it will take.
If they are interested, consider explaining the steps involved when renting or buying a house and keep them updated as to which step the family is on at the moment (e.g., "now we wait for the bank to get back to us to say yes or no to if they let us borrow money to buy the house").
Encourage balanced thinking. Set the expectation that there will likely be some parts of the new home that they like and some parts that they will not and that this is okay.
Clarify how involved the young person would like to be in the transition (e.g., asking if they would like to pack/unpack their boxes of belongings themselves or with your support).
When packing boxes of their belongings, consider putting specific labels on each box or using transparent boxes to ensure that the young person knows what is in what box. This ensures easier access to important items and can reduce frustration and worry later.
Consider having a ‘stay in the car suitcase,’ where the young person can keep their necessities (e.g., treasures, sensory toys, and self-care and hygiene products) to ensure that they are accessible at all stages during the move.
Use social stories and visuals to reduce uncertainty (e.g., show the young person images and video walkthroughs of their new home, show them the floor plan and where the rooms will be, create a countdown calendar, and allow them to offer suggestions about where they think their belongings should go).
When adjusting to the new house, allow the young person to video call extended family members and friends to give them a tour of the new house. It may be appropriate to have a close friend visit soon after the move.
Maintain routine and structure as much as possible:
Coordinate the move with your child’s support team and make sure that everyone is on the same page.
Take them to the new house and surrounding area where possible before moving (e.g., driving around the new suburb and trying out the local cafes).
Determine what in their previous routine can stay and what may need to change over time (e.g., is their current library still in walking distance or would it be preferable to change libraries? Is it worth travelling further to continue seeing a particular health professional if they have established trust/rapport with them?).
Scaffold changes to new routines where possible (e.g., accompany the young person to trial the new bus route before returning to school).
When adjusting to the new house, maintaining previous routines can be regulating (e.g., mealtime and bedtime routines).
Support regulation of the young person and other family members:
Encourage the young person and other family members to name how they feel about the move and normalise and validate these feelings. In particular, let them know it is okay to feel stressed, overwhelmed, and upset when moving home.
Consider ways to support the young person to ‘honour’ the old house (e.g., taking photos of their old house and rooms so that they can remember the memories that they had in that property).
Consider creating a scrapbook to commemorate the old house with the young person and a scrapbook for the new house that can be added to over time.
Consider purchasing a ‘new house only’ item so that the young person has something to look forward to if they cannot determine anything to be excited about regarding the move (e.g., let them choose a new bedspread that they can have once they move to the new home).
Create a ’safe space’ in the new home for them to meet their sensory needs if they become dysregulated during the move.
Consider what sensory components are a priority for the young person (e.g. warm versus cool light globes and access to alternative heating and cooling tools if air-conditioning is not available).
Consider positively engaging the young person’s senses when moving into the new home to facilitate feelings of safety (e.g., play their favourite music when unpacking, open all the windows of the house, light a candle with a familiar scent, bring their favourite bath products for their first shower, and visually arrange the most important spaces in the home first).
Decisions during packing and unpacking can feel overwhelming (e.g., deciding to keep vs discard items and how/where to store items). Consider body doubling; be alongside the young person to support motivation and regulation.
Consider whether the move is an opportunity to declutter (e.g., finally donating the old clothes that are sitting in the corner of the bedroom). Understand that discarding belongings, particularly those connected to interests or holding sentimental value, can be difficult for young people. Approach this gently and assist them to recognise how having extra space might improve their life (e.g., less visually overwhelming and easier to keep organised). Alternatively, consider if items can be stored more effectively.
Reduce any personal pressure to have the new home looking ‘perfect’ when you move. It is okay if your boxes remain unpacked for a while. It is also okay to ask for additional support if you need it.
